Two Divided By Zero
by Lasha Lee

Milliardo looked liked a great, white tiger as he nudged his way through the crowd toward Relena, his face thunderous. She was still looking at Gage, and he grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. She turned pale at the look in his eyes.

"We need to talk." He growled, and began leading her down the hallway. He nearly crashed into Heero, who was blocking his path.

"Is there a problem?" Heero asked politely.

"It's a private matter, Yuy. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Relena?" Heero asked, his voice concerned.

"It's okay, Heero." She smiled weakly. "He's right. We do need to talk." She glared up at Milliardo, who was still holding tightly to her arm. Heero reluctantly moved to let them by, and they vanished into Gage's room, shutting the door behind them with a slam.

"And where do you think you're going?" Heero asked, as Duo started down the hall.

"To listen at the door?" He asked hopefully.

"No you aren't. Like Milliardo said, it's private. We're going to respect that."

Duo grumbled but turned around.

"What is all that about?" Shan asked Gage, puzzled.

"No idea. I guess he's mad that she's letting me live here." Gage shrugged. "No big deal. They'll work it out." He noticed something else.

"Hey, no one's watching us."

Shan saw that the guests, including his parents, were still facing the other direction. Now was their chance.

The boys crept toward the transporter and ducked inside, punching in the code for Shan's house, their hearts racing and their hands joined.

Their time had come.


Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?
Would you run, and never look back?

They turned on the music, and did nothing but sway to it, kissing. Watching the other couples dancing together at the party had been almost impossible to take. It wasn't fair that they had to hide their love for each other. And they weren't going to any longer.

Would you cry, if you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul tonight?

They moved to Shan's bed and sat down on the edge, facing each other. Gage found himself wishing with all that he had that he was as innocent as Shan, that Chester had not gotten to him first, that nameless others hadn't school him in vice so young. Shan was impossibly beautiful, breathtakingly innocent, and he felt his eyes burn with shame and emotion just watching him. He reached out, and removed the other boy's glasses, setting them down next to the bed. Shan moved forward, and his mouth covered each escaping tear, kissing them away. "It doesn't matter." He whispered softly. "I don't care. You're mine now."

And it was true.

Would you tremble, if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh? Please tell me this.

Gage pressed his fingers against Shan's mouth, and Shan kissed them. He nipped at one, and they both laughed through their tears.

Now would you die, for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight.

Gage looked at the door and saw that it was locked. Outside the world continued. Outside that door was a man who would kill him for what he wanted to do to Shan right now, for what he knew he was going to do. And he found that he could not care. He had never really lived, not until right now, and this boy was worth dying for; this love was worth dying for.

They had removed their jackets when they'd come in, and now Gage's shaking hands loosened Shan's tie. It hung free, and he moved to the buttons of the dress shirt, popping them free and exposing the golden skin of his chest. He'd seen Shan undressed before, but this was different. This was the real thing. He laid his palm over Shan's heart; even with his summer tan he was still paler than the other boy, and he loved the contrast their skin made.

Shan took his hand and brought it up to his face, rubbing his cheek against it and kissing it. "I love you." He mouthed.

"I love you too." Gage whispered back. "So much, Shanny Boy. So much that it hurts."

They removed each other's shirts, kissing, whispering words that would make no sense to anyone but themselves. Gage's mouth found it's way to Shan's chest, sucking and lick the dark nubs, and they fell over backward into the pillows.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

The rest of their clothing followed, but the pace wasn't frantic. They knew their time was limited; that any minute someone could discover them missing and come looking for them, but to rush this was to make a mockery of it. The world could do without them for a while. They needed this. They needed now.

Would you swear, that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie? Would you run and hide?

Shan straddled Gage's hips, staring down at him, panting. "I Pledge myself to you, Gage Drummond. I'm yours for as long as you want me to be. I hope that's forever, because that's how long I'm going to love you."

Gage took a deep breath, reaching up to stroke the ebony hair. "I Pledge myself to you, Chang Shan. I've loved you for ten years now; I'll love you for a million more."

"Infinity." Shan promised. He reached under Gage to touch the tattoo.

"Infinity." Gage agreed, his fingers dancing across Shan's identical mark.

Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind?
I don't care; you're here tonight.

And all of his childhood conditioning against this act Shan banished with their next searing kiss. Maybe Gage had driven him insane; maybe he'd gone mad to want this so badly, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered but Gage.

He knew the mechanics of the act, but he was afraid of his own ignorance, afraid of hurting Gage, perhaps seriously.

But Gage was not ignorant, as much as he wished now that it were otherwise. He whispered instructions to Shan, suggestions, pleas, and Shan did as he was told, his awkwardness slowly fading away as he grew more confident. His fingers explored, probed, pressed, and Gage's response was nothing but encouraging.

And when he knew he had touched enough, when he knew what Gage wanted him to do now, what he wanted to do, his fear had all but vanished. And when he felt himself sinking into slick, blistering heat, felt his body gripped and hugged and caressed by Gage's, he finally understand.

He found his rhythm, and Gage's, and they moved together, the party forgotten, the dangers forgotten. This... this was it... and it spiraled higher, and the movement became faster, until their soaked bodies were crashing into each other, until their cries became hoarse, and then like a summer storm, it was over.

Shan pulled free when he could move again, and Gage rolled over, pulling him into his arms, kissing him, sobbing. Shan was afraid that he had hurt him after all, but Gage just shook his head no and clung to him tighter, whispering how much he loved him.

They dozed off for a while, sated, but it was a condition that could not last. They were young, and in love, and the hunger rose again, waking them.

Gage rubbed against Shan, nuzzling his chest, and there was a question in his eyes. Shan nodded, nuzzling him back, and then rolled over onto his stomach.

It was painful, but not as painful as he had expected it to be. Not as painful as it would have been with anyone but Gage. Because Gage loved him, and he would have rather died than hurt him in any way. And what little pain there was, Shan quickly overlooked for the incredible pleasure that followed it. He had never felt so possessed, so complete, in his entire life. He was no longer himself, he was an extension of Gage, and he could feel every beat of the boy's heart against his back, every pulse of the driving hardness within him. He could feel Gage's tears raining down on him, and hear the litany of words in his ear. "Oh, Shan. My Shan. My Shanny Boy. So good... so right... love you so much..."

It was over far too quickly, but it didn't matter, because they knew it would happen again. That they would have the rest of their lives to experiment and explore. When Gage withdrew, the pain returned a little, and Shan bit his lip, trying to hide it.

"Are you okay?" Gage whispered.

"I'm better than okay." Shan whispered back. "I've never been more okay in my life."

He tucked his head under Gage's chin, and their fingers interlocked on the boy's damp chest. Shan fell asleep then in the circle of Gage's embrace, lulled by his heart.

Once, when Gage had been much younger, he had transposed numbers on a math quiz, had written 2/0 instead of 0/2. And his teacher had explained to him that you could not divided by zero, that 2/0 was infinity.

"That's us, Shanny Boy." Gage muttered. "We're 2/0. Infinity."

And then sleep came for him as well.

Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.
Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind?
I don't care; you're here tonight.


The party continued. Relena and Milliardo had been in the bedroom forever, but no one could hear what they were arguing about. The general opinion matched Gage's: that Milliardo was incensed that his sister had given permission for his nephew to reside on Dera. Perhaps, as the boy's uncle, he felt that he should have had first choice in providing Gage a home if Relena had no longer wanted the responsibility.

Duo whispered to Heero that Zechs was being totally irrational about this. They wanted Gage to live with them, and would fight for his right to do so, but if Zechs wanted to lay claim to him, and Gage decided that he'd rather live with his uncle than his mother's old friends, they certainly weren't going to keep the boy here against his will. The decision would totally rest with Gage himself.

Finally the door opened, and Milliardo stormed out, this time with Relena holding on to his arm.

"Don't do this, Milliardo." She was begging. "Don't. Please."

He shook her loose and stalked into the living room, looking around. "Where's Gage?" He demanded, glaring at Heero, as if Heero had deliberately spirited his beloved nephew away somewhere for nefarious purposes.

Heero looked around thoughtfully. Where was Gage? He hadn't seen him in ages. Shan either, for that matter.

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "Why?"

"None of your business." Milliardo snapped. "GAGE!" he bellowed, not caring that everyone was staring at him. "Gage, where are you?"

"Calm down." Duo hissed. "Get a grip, man."

But Milliardo had already focused on Wufei.

"Where's Gage?" he demanded.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Wufei shrugged. "We." He pointed at his wife and daughter. "Can't find Shan, either."

"They're probably off together somewhere." Denea rolled her eyes. "They act like we're trying to kill them if we keep them apart."

"Are you saying they're dating?" Relena forced a laugh.

"Dating?" Wufei snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. They're both boys!"

Duo coughed into his hand and glared at Wufei.

Relena frowned. "Gage is bi. I'm sorry, I thought you knew that."

Wufei turned red.

"Now Wu..." Heero started.

"SHAN!" Wufei roared.

"GAGE!" Milliardo echoed.

"Maybe they went home?" Denea looked disgusted with her maclen. "Why don't we check there before we start acting like idiots?"

Wufei and Milliardo headed for the transporter, Duo, Heero, Relena, Denea, and Meishel at their heels. "Sorry folks." Duo called over his shoulder to the other guests. "Technical difficulties. We'll be back in a minute. Continue having fun."

The transporter door clanged shut.

"What is going on?" Linra looked at Jazz.

"I don't know." The young man admitted. "But it can't be pretty."


They stepped out into the Chang's living room. Loud music was coming from upstairs, and no one answered their yells. Wufei took the stairs two at a time, with Milliardo a hair behind him, and they reached Shan's bedroom door.

Duo felt a sick feeling of dread in his gut, and looked at Heero, who returned it. He knew what was going on behind that door; he knew it as someone who had been a teenager once, and a father more recently. But he hoped... he hoped with all his heart that he was wrong.

Over the music they heard something then.

Shan moaning.

Wufei moved like lightning. His foot and arm connected with the wooden door and it instantly gave way, crashing to the floor inside the room.

Duo's worst fears were confirmed.

Both boys were lying on Shan's bed, naked and entwined. The smell of sex was heavy in the room's stale air.

They jumped apart, grabbing the blankets around them, but it didn't do Gage much good, because a second later he was on the floor, on his back, with Wufei's hands around his neck, choking him.

And as the world started to spin, one thought continued to echo in his head.

It had been worth it.


On to part twenty-three. Back to part twenty-one.