It was past midnight; I was at the Royal Apartments, and I was hammering on the glass doors. My body was still shaken from the impact of the door at the club - the wrench to my shoulder had resurrected the barely recovered pain in my ribs.
Fuck, I thought, it's only pain. Of more importance were the anger - and the fear.
The night-time desk guy - here's a surprise! - refused to let me in. But I threatened to sit on the step all night and piss on the windows, and finally he rang up to Heero's apartment for me.
I hadn't found Heero at the club, after I staggered back in. Instead, I'd found a deliriously euphoric Quatre, and a happily distracted Trowa, and I didn't see that my experiences would add any value to them. The music thundered on, the drink flowed, and the partygoers were committed until dawn. So having established that Heero had left the building, I just snuck myself away.
So he had to be here. Heero must have come back here. After fucking me. After protesting his innocence, and penetrating me with extreme - albeit consensual - prejudice. After one of his uncle's staff yet again threatened me, and rebranded me by using a hated name that I'd thought to leave behind months ago.
I'd had enough. The memories of my former life were thick in my mind and filthy on my tongue. It seemed I was destined to have them with me for ever; they'd followed me to my new life, and soiled the recovery I was seeking to make, and - worst of all - they were irretrievably linked to the man that I thought I might love.
Love... hey, what was this, appearing suddenly in my vocabulary? The idea was an anachronism to me, personally; the concept was a romantic alien in my world. I rolled the word around on my mind's tongue. Tried to ignore it. But there was no other description for the way I felt. Whether I liked it or not. Whether he gave a fuck in return or not.
Had the impact with the door knocked my brain off line as well?
I had definitely had enough!
The elevator whined to a halt in the lobby, and Heero stepped out. He was dressed in the sweats I'd seen him in before, with a thin denim shirt on top. He looked as if he'd showered, and washed his hair, and was settling down to finish the night at home. Quietly, with little fuss. And definitely not with a semi-hysterical lover, whose clothes were looking the worse for wear, and whose body was aching with several new and exciting bruises.
"Duo." The usual nod. He looked a little more tense, now I saw him up close.
"You left the club."
"I had an appointment. I looked for you, but I had to leave immediately. You could have followed me - well, I see that you did."
He was cool as ice, it seemed. But I knew him better than that, from even our short acquaintance. I saw the jitter in his dark pupils; the slight shiver to his lip.
"You gonna ask me up, then?"
"Do you expect me to?" he asked.
I stepped closely to him, and grabbed his wrist. It was down by his side, so there was no overt sign of violence to scare the desk guy; but I saw Heero wince as I tightened my grip.
"Yes, I do. I think I deserve a better reception than the public toilets. A little more of your time than a mere wham bam thank you, Duo. A better explanation than Shad chose to give me in the alley..."
"I never meant...wait, what do you mean, the alley? Are you hurt?" he broke in, real panic in his look.
He hadn't protested at hearing Shad's name. Inside, I sighed.
"Take me upstairs," I insisted. "We'll talk there."
"You knew Shad was on the payroll," I ranted. "You knew what I was talking about was real, and happening in your family's business empire. However you try to ring-fence yourself in within one small club, you have to admit now that these things are happening in your family's name!"
I stared at him, sat opposite me on one of the two leather couches. "Don't deny it anymore, Heero! Credit me with some intelligence."
He steepled his hands on his chin. Seemed to consider his reply carefully before he spoke. "Have you told anyone else about this?"
About what? I wanted to shout. About being beaten up behind the mall; about being threatened by a lump of shit who once snapped a kid's neck 'cos he was bored with him? About the illegal rackets that he helped run for Mr K - about the Mr Y he most probably works for now, being part of your family?
"No," I replied, tersely. "I've never told anyone what I may or may not know. I'm too fucking ashamed of my own past to own up to the present. And isn't that what your uncle sent Shad to find out tonight?"
Heero's gaze was cautious. "My uncle didn't send anyone. Not that first time - nor tonight."
"So it's Shad acting on his own! I think your uncle should be damn careful of what's going on in his name. It won't be long before Shad - or one of his uncontrollable minions - steps over the line, and the whole damn thing spirals out of business and into burial! The police are on the trail already, y'know..."
"Perhaps that's better." He leaned back on the couch, with a slight sigh.
"For who, Heero?"
I watched him sitting there, apparently calm. Arm flung over the back of the couch; denim shirt open by a few buttons, showing the gleam of his chest. I remembered every line of that chest; I'd kissed it. I'd caressed it. It had crushed itself against me as he took me, my legs clasped round him, tongues thrusting into each other. I felt sick. I wanted to break that calm - I wanted to shatter his composure in the face of this horror.
"Why did you let me go on? Why did you let us go on?" His gaze snapped up to me - he was startled. "I'm trouble for you, Heero. Better to have dumped me quickly, and kept away from the club like you used to. Better to have diverted all these fucking awkward questions, and my potentially embarrassing past, and found another mattress-boy. Why, Heero?"
I thought I'd found a trigger. He sat forward, suddenly; jerkily. Like he wanted to get up - probably like he wanted to hit me.
"Why do you think, Duo? I'll tell you why! Because I wanted you, and then I had you, and it was a thousand times more exhilarating than I had ever imagined. I didn't want to give that up!" I gaped at him. And he rushed on. "You met me on equal terms, unlike the pathetic little sycophants who know of my family, and try to suck up to me and my body. Thinking they can satisfy me. No-one ever has, Duo! But you gave as much as you took; you were honest with your desire. I never felt that you surrendered to me; only that you participated, willingly. We enjoyed each other, and I didn't see that we needed anything else!"
His mouth stopped, half open. His face was stricken. "I want you, Duo. I don't want any other."
Shit, I thought. My head struggled to get round this. "I never knew you felt like that. You could have said something..."
"No I couldn't," he said. There was pure misery in his voice. "I never have. I don't act that way, Duo."
"But you're doing it now -"
"Yes. Well - trying, perhaps. For you. To try to make you understand me. I want you to understand me..."
I wanted to kiss him; to touch the skin of his back, showing under the denim cloth as he leant forward. I felt that strange desire that was the same for me as for him - the desire that teetered somewhere between striking and seducing.
Heero lay back on the couch with a frustrated breath. "I want you to know that I think you're right about Shad. He came to us - he came to my uncle, saying he had ideas to make us stronger. I think that he'd just outstayed his welcome where he was - and that was working for uncle's other nephew, Kai. My cousin."
"Mr K -?"
I don't know if I was pleased or horrified, to find that I was right. That it was the same family. That my old life and my new were slowly overlapping, like the ripples in quicksand.
I was just numb.
Heero shrugged, not knowing what I meant with the mysterious initial. "My uncle and Kai's family - they grew businesses together, as young men - it was just business, Duo, just commerce. Then they fell out - they separated across state. Each went their own way. Things grew from there."
"Other - illegal - businesses..."
He stared hard at me. His eyes were cautious; and there was some other expression there. I wanted to think that he was asking something of me. My understanding? My tolerance? My silence...?
"Yes, it's true. There's a fine line between profit and profiteering, uncle is fond of saying." Heero gave a short, harsh laugh. "But that's been Kai's way, not uncle's. Compared to Kai, uncle is a naÔf in business, though he likes to think he can compete. In both legal and illegal matters. But Kai was always the one with the brains, and the ambition. Most would say the ruthlessness as well. I knew what Kai was building across state - I knew how uncle hungered after the same thing. He just doesn't have it in him to follow it through. Our organisation is very tame, Duo. We run some businesses that are less savoury than others; some businesses that rely on customers on the periphery of conventional life. But we are almost totally legal. I - we try to see to that."
"Almost totally legal?"
He gazed back at me, challenging me. "Almost. I can see your anger, Duo, it's clear in your face. I'm not saying I condone it. I'm not saying it will always be that way. But it's my family's business as it is today."
"And Shad -?"
He grimaced. "Shad has brought too much of Kai's vision with him. I believe that Kai grew tired of him. Maybe a little scared - unable to control him. Kai thrives on success, but not at the expense of family, even if our two threads had parted - he wouldn't look for violence between us, not even for the potential of extending his empire here. What can we offer him, after all? But from what Shad has said to me, that's his way - and his only way. Having lost support from Kai, he obviously thought that uncle would welcome him; that he would tempt him with an opportunity to become more like Kai. To turn the initiative in the other direction. I think that Shad wanted uncle to take over Kai's territory."
"Your uncle would want that -?"
"The idea is ridiculous!" snapped Heero, surprising me. "Shad - Shad is a subversive influence. We've been trying to find a way to ease him out - his 'ideas' are far too aggressive. There are things happening in our family's name that I don't agree with - that frighten me! But that Shad supports. He's taken control of a large part of the organisation."
"Can't your uncle stop him?"
"No." It was a very small, but very strong word.
"You mean he doesn't want to!"
"No, that's not it, Duo. He - we - he's working on it, believe me. But there are things that I can't tell you. There are things you have to trust my judgement on -"
"Bullshit!" I spat out. "So you're only a bit player, Heero, but that doesn't make you a pawn, does it? Do something about it! You're part of the family, aren't you? You must have influence over your uncle. Change it, or get out of it!"
There was a strange light in his eyes as he looked back at me. There was a whole history behind there, which I had no access to.
"It's my life, Duo. It's what I've always known - what I grew up with. It's the only thing I've ever known. I can't change myself overnight."
"I don't understand." I shook my head. "Who were you meeting tonight, Heero? Was it Shad? Did you know he was gonna corner me in the alley tonight?"
"No!" he snapped back. "Of course not! I dropped some champagne at your table, and then I got called away - Shad said it was Kai. He'd be ringing me tonight to - to discuss things. Shad said he'd pass a message on to you, because I had to come back here at once - it's the only number Kai uses." He looked, a little absently, at the telephone in the corner of the lounge. "He hasn't rung yet, though..."
Shad got a message to me all right. I don't know why I felt a chill down my spine. It curled into my wound, and the fresh new skin throbbed in response. Though the leather was warm enough against my back...
"Has Shad talked to you about me?" I sounded a tad sulky.
"Yes," murmured Heero. "He spoke to me last week. He told me that you'd had connections with him in a previous - employment."
I stood up, abruptly. Guess he knew all about the 'Rat' stuff now. "You knew that already. I told you."
"Shad - he doesn't approve of our acquaintance, Heero. Is that just his own opinion?"
Heero's eyes flashed darkly. "It's none of his business who I see!"
"But he works for your uncle. 'Praps it's your uncle who's been sending him after me. 'Praps he doesn't think I'm a suitable companion for you... " I felt as if I were pushing Heero to agree with me. When I so wanted him to deny it.
And he did. Though his eyes were troubled. "It's my business, and mine alone. No-one tells me whom to see. You should know that by now. But there's some truth in what you say - when Shad spoke to me, he tried to turn it into something else. He tried to tell me - to tell my uncle that this previous connection meant you were a threat. That you knew about aspects of the business from the inside; that you may have told the police, and may already be an informant. That you knew the child he uses for his work -"
"Baz, you mean."
"I don't know his name. The child that runs around with him sometimes. He sends him on errands. He said he could send him on an errand that would finish Kai's rival empire for good, and leave the way for us to expand. To take over the lot."
"With him as chief of Security -?" My voice rasped with disgust.
Heero smiled slightly, but without much humour. "You know him well."
"So what did you tell him?"
"I told him that Kai and I didn't have that kind of rivalry. That we weren't interested in that kind of expansion. I told him to fuck off. I've barely seen him since then."
The angry words sounded excessively crude from Heero's lush lips.
"And your uncle? What did he say?"
He stared up at me again. His eyes were dark and deep, and yet I couldn't make out the expression in them. His slim, strong hand stretched out - touched at my hip.
"He agreed with me. Of course."
I stood there, not sure what I was feeling. Fear for me - for Heero. Fear of the psychotic Shad and the sad boy Baz, in his power. Confusion as to what was gonna happen now. To what extent was Heero involved?
The wound at my side was still throbbing gently; it was rare that it troubled me, nowadays.
And had he meant what he said about his feelings for me? I'd never heard him speak so much about something personal. Sure, it was no protestation of love... I mocked my own sad, over-sensitive, ridiculous feelings. But it was something more than indifference. Much more. I let the warm, tentative thoughts trickle a little way into my heart - even though I was sure they'd bring disaster and disappointment in their wake.
I was just tired, and hurt, and unusually vulnerable - wasn't I?
Over it all, I felt the warm pressure of his hand at my hip. And I didn't move away when he drew me nearer to him on the couch.
"Are you a threat, Duo? An informant? Are you here to find out if we have illegal interests like Kai -?"
"Christ, no -!"
"So I was right."
"Maybe." I laughed, quickly. "Who knows what's right and wrong at the moment? I wish I fucking well did..."
"So... why are you here?" he murmured. There was a strange, tentative lilt to his question. His whole demeanour had changed. His fingers pressed sharply at my waist.
I shrugged, but it was an empty gesture. "To see you, " I replied. "To know more about you..."
He drew in a breath, sharply. He may have flushed - I couldn't see easily. "Why?"
Who the fuck knows? I nearly said aloud. When, of course, I knew only too well. But I was too scared to say.
"Duo..." he murmured. "It's OK. I don't care why. You don't have to say anything." His breath was hot at my groin as he spoke, and his hand had slipped round behind me, to cup my ass. "I never wanted to leave you tonight at the club. I never meant for that to be anything more than - a taster... a hot, sexy madness. Stay with me tonight."
That was Heero's way. Still seemed to struggle with 'please' or 'thank you'. He ordered - others obeyed. Well, I did.
It had been a surreal night, and I was damn shaken up about everything that was going on - about everything I suspected, and everything I knew; and every other piece of crap that I didn't. But I'd never felt in any danger from Heero himself. He was disturbed in a way that I'd never seen in him before. I was disturbed myself, but let's face it, that was probably less of a culture shock for me.
I wanted to see something behind his distress, which was connected with me. With my effect on him. He'd said some things to me that set my feelings adrift in me - that excited me in ways I hadn't gone down before. I wanted that to be a truth that I could rely on - I wanted to believe that.
And meanwhile, the solace he sought was a familiar one.
"Kiss me, Duo."
He peeled the denim shirt off over his head, exposing his bare chest, knowing that would excite me. He reached for me with one hand, flipping at the buttons of my shirt, pushing the silk up off my shoulders. I helped it along; he was still sitting, looking up at me. Then I was half-naked too. He tugged at the end of my braid, and I bent my head to his; we began a kiss that was tentative to start with, then as fevered as always. He tasted of warm, sweet tea. It didn't seem bold enough for him.
His other hand was inside my jeans, sliding round to my ass - a finger stroked gently around the dip at the bottom of my spine; sneaked down between my cheeks, searching for the welcoming pucker.
Except that I didn't feel totally welcoming. There were many small fires of rebellion and uncertainty inside me that weren't extinguished yet. Not enough to be able to roll over and let him in. Not that easily.
I lifted my lips from his, just to make it clear. "Don't touch me there. Not tonight."
Once again, he accepted my reluctance quite calmly. When he must have known that he could have easily talked me round - kissed me round. Instead, he pulled my mouth back down to his, and his kissing continued - but it was a little more careful. Like he wasn't sure what I wanted. His hand slid back round to the front of my body - to my groin, and he started caressing my cock. His hand was squashed inside the fabric, but the fingertips played a sure little tune up and down me. And it was damn good...
"Let me do this, then, Duo..."
He flipped the button, and tugged down the zip. I was back in boxers, for all the protection they gave me. I was straining against the thin fabric - he peeled it gently down over my hot, flesh-red tip. Then he took hold of my hips, and pulled me down on the couch beside him. I lay back, temporarily without any energy to resist. Even if I'd wanted to.
He took hold of me.
The skin of his hand was a little rough, but it made the friction more intense. His strokes were strong and exciting, and he knew exactly where to torment the skin to make me shiver. He tugged the creases up tight over my swelling shaft; he teased out the pre-cum and smoothed it all over the tip, so that his hand moved easily.
I whimpered slightly. Every sweep of his hand dragged the ache in my groin with it; my hips jerked upwards to meet him. My nerves were stretched so tightly I winced every time he varied his touch. He paused at the base of my cock, kneading my balls gently with the pad of his palm. His thumb stroked at the hairs, teasing them a little out of their bed, and then letting them bounce back into place. And still he caressed me firmly and demandingly, squeezing me towards a climax that I knew was gonna be so fucking poignant that it was gonna be painful...
When he pulled down the waist of his sweats, and tugged one of my flailing hands towards his own cock, I was glad to grasp at it, and start to pump it in time with his own movements. He was hot and he was thick; I marvelled that it felt nothing like my own. He gave his own, soft groan as I worked the flesh up and down.
"This is mad -" I gasped. What did I mean? That I was damned uncomfortable, scrunched up on the couch? That I should just give up, and go to bed with him, and let him fuck me like my body so obviously wanted?
"This is good -" Heero's smile was tight, as, like me, he fought to postpone the inevitable ecstasy. He slid down beside me. His breath was harsh, and shortening rapidly, but he never lost control of his hand. Of me.
We lay side by side on the couch, still fully clothed from the waist down, except for our escaping pricks, and we jerked each other off. Like teenagers, discovering each other, but not prepared to go further. It took longer than I'd expected, though I'd become aroused and pumped full of blood so damn quickly - but we savoured each other, and the feel and touch of each other's flesh, and it was very, very fucking good...
"Make what noise you want," he hissed in my ear. "No-one will hear us."
How did he know that was what I wanted? I was panting; I was biting a moan back into my mouth. I'd so often kept quiet, aware of the astonishing places we were fucking in -
Then I lost all control, and I screamed. It was a loud, aching yell, and my body tried to fold in half as the climax wracked through me. It was a brilliant, gasping relief, to let the noise out, to express the rippling, shaking delight that burst up through my cock and spewed hot, sticky, glutinous cum all over our stomachs and Heero's supple fingers. The world swam around me, and I clutched my free hand to the arm of the couch, to try to anchor myself.
"This is very good..." Heero groaned, though I barely heard him in my misty mind, and then I felt the sharp throb of his own cock, and the rumble of seed racing up through it towards escape. I squeezed him one more time, trying to resurrect some feeling in my numbed, nerveless fingers, and he called out himself. He jerked against me, so that we both nearly rolled off, and the jolts of cum burst out from him as well. His head came down hard on my shoulder, pressing at where it met my neck, and I could feel the pulse throbbing through him. I folded my arms round his chest, and held him as he shuddered and twitched. We'd be well and truly messy together - I could feel the thick, warm, sticky stuff being squashed and spread all over our groins and stomachs.
We lay for a minute or two, silent except for our panting. That slowed, after a while. Heero didn't pull away from my embrace, but finally I stirred underneath him.
"I need a shower -"
"Take one," he said, softly. His face lifted a little away from me. "There's plenty of hot water."
I stared at him - at the soft swelling of his lips where we'd kissed. Where we'd snapped at each other's tongue as the climaxes approached. I knew what he wanted.
"I'll stay, Heero. But just a shower. Just a bed. Nothing else tonight."
He shrugged. He sat up stiffly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I know. You said." He folded his graceful body up off the couch, stretching muscles out as he went. And he waved me in the direction of the bathroom.
It was a good shower; one with its own pump, and the steaming water came out fierce and scalding hot, just as I like it. It's a guilty pleasure, isn't it - the enjoyment of fast-flowing water and good soap? To cleanse your whole body - to caress it, to pamper it; to revel in the sensual delight of touching everywhere, for a perfectly good, and yet purely selfish reason.
I stood for a long time, ostensibly unwrapping my braid, and combing out the kinks so that the water fully washed it. I felt the streams of hot water, fast and fierce, rushing down my back, and I luxuriated in it. How good it'd be, to wash the whole damn lot away! The present confusion; the whole of the miserable past. The loss of friends; of innocence. The missed opportunities; the sense of constant failure. I rubbed at my skin almost harshly, so that it began to burn with sensation. I washed out the smell of Heero and his leather couch; I washed out my own smell, the smell of the alley behind the club...
I felt him there, in the room, seconds before I turned and saw him. I was in searingly hot water, but the goose bumps scattered across my body. The curtain was drawn aside, and the clouds of steam floated gently out over the whole room. Heero stood there, watching me, tall and still and completely nude. There was steam condensing on his shoulders and chest; locks of the dark hair were clinging to the side of his face.
"Duo..." His eyes were bright like a fox's in the moonlight. They ran from my legs, up my naked, dripping body, and to my face. They lingered there. 'Praps there was a question in his eyes. 'Praps it was just lust.
"Not tonight, Heero."
"I know. I just want to watch you."
I looked down at his cock - it was vibrantly alert again. High and tight - reaching for me. Free of its confines, it sprang out from the curly black nest; begging. He wanted it real bad.
"You wanna take care of that, Heero?"
"What do you mean?"
I smiled. A trail of water ran down my cheek, and I licked it into my mouth. "Let me watch as well. Do it for me, Heero. Touch yourself..."
There was that same look on his face, like the first time I'd sucked him off and swallowed his cum. This was something he'd never done. Yet I knew how he liked to watch me jerking myself off. Heero had a lot to learn, it seemed.
I leant back against the tiles of the shower cubicle, and turned the water flow down. I felt my own cock stirring at the sight of Heero's naked body - at the glory of it. The perfection. The drops of water ran softly over my growing erection. I waved to him to continue, and I wrapped a hand lazily around myself.
He was staring at my cock; he licked his lips. Yeah, Heero, I thought. 'Praps that'll be the next lesson...
"Do it, Heero. Don't touch me - touch yourself. I wanna see it."
He paused only a moment, as if he weighed up his appetite for it. And found he was hungry enough. He took a step or so back, and leant his lower back against the basin. He tugged gently at his cock, freeing some sticky hairs. I could see him shiver; I could see how much he wanted satisfaction. How much he wanted me. His fingers looked momentarily confused - but then he began to stroke himself.
I sucked in a breath, and his eyes registered my excitement. He spread his fingers, and he started to run them up and down his cock. There was no sound except for the musical trickle of water from the shower, and a low panting from Heero. My skin squeaked on the tiles as I sought for a better purchase to support myself.
"Is this what you want, Duo?" His voice was a hiss. His eyes were fastened on my groin, as I aimlessly fondled myself. I could see his free hand gripping the basin; the knuckles were whitening. His lips were slightly parted, moist with his saliva. Hair brushed gently on his forehead as his hips moved against his hand. The muscles of his arm were tightening and relaxing; the definition of his chest and abdomen was flexing sharply as he rubbed with a deep, familiar deliberation.
"Yeah," I sighed. I could feel the terrible, tortuous ache starting in my groin again. He was gorgeous; he was a work of art. He was doing this for me.
"You want more, Duo?" The words came out on a series of staggered breaths. He took his free hand away from the basin, and slid it down behind his back. "I want more. Watch."
I stared, fascinated, as he wriggled his ass, and winced very slightly as he reached his free hand down between his cheeks. I couldn't see, of course. But I had a damn good imagination. He leant very slightly forward, butt still balanced against the basin, and hand still firmly round his cock. The muscles of his lower arm and wrist flexed sharply as he probed into himself.
"Shit..." I groaned. I realised that I'd started as a tease, and now I was playing with fire. I wasn't really aware of how tightly my own hand was clutching my cock - only of the sudden desire to start pumping. And the instinctive flexing of my own hole. My legs opened - my feet sought a different position in the water swirling round them. I was braced against the wall, and I was gently thrusting up into my palm. My other hand fell to my hip; it reached down as well, and started to ghost around my entrance.
Heero moaned, and his eyes closed briefly. I wondered how many fingers he had inside him. How often he did this to himself. Whether he'd let me do it to him - and soon! Then his eyes flashed open again, and I could see the new sweat on his brow. His hips were rolling steadily against the pressure of his hand at the front, and his fingers at the back.
"Is this what you want, Duo?" he repeated. It all seemed a hell of a lot steamier in here than it had been fifteen minutes earlier. His cock was straining out of his fist, the fierce, red tip shining, damp from pre-cum and the water vapour in the room. It was spitting at us; it wanted satisfaction. The tendons on his hand were raised; the veins purplish.
"Come for me, baby..." I hissed. I dipped the very end of my finger into my hole; it sucked me in like a hot, wet clamp. "Are you close?"
"Duo ñ I'm damn close ñ" His eyes were glazing over, even as he stared back at me.
He did. His eyes widened, his mouth opened in a soundless cry, and he leant back into the fingers up his ass. His hand thrashed at his cock only a coupla strokes more, then it stilled, and the organ jumped of its own accord inside the clenched fingers. I saw the tip swell for its final explosion, then the seed spill out of the top and over his hand. He clung to it, fingers clamped like they'd become part of the stiff column of flesh, even as I saw him still hugging under his ass, still stimulating his prostate; still pointing his unfocussed gaze directly at me.
It was the most exciting thing I'd ever seen.
"Heero, I -"
He straightened himself up with some difficulty, and set his eyes back on my groin. He was panting hard. His face was flushed from orgasm - his hand was covered with the evidence. I was still a little way off completion - but not far.
"Not tonight?" he murmured. He raised an eyebrow, challenging me.
"Yes, tonight - !" I hissed. It was too much to resist. He was too much to resist! My troubled mind was lost somewhere under the streams of water flowing over me and into the drain. All I could feel was the throbbing need of my body; the need to be filled. The need for something far, far more than my own, sorry fingers up inside me...
He stepped forward more quickly than I did, and he came into the cubicle and up against my slick-wet body. He let out a deep grunt, as his bruised, over-sensitive cock brushed against mine.
I did. I slid round in the half inch of water splashing at my feet, and I braced my hands against the wall. His hands were firm on my buttocks, and they began stroking them; kneading them. The water was diverted over my ass and down his arms. I was dreadfully ashamed that I was gonna beg - and loudly.
"Heero - do it - please -"
"Duo - I want you so much - but I can't, not yet -"
"Something..." I moaned. "Give me something!"
He paused behind me; then his hands moved off my body for a moment. He was reaching over to the cabinet outside the cubicle for something - he was scrabbling with the top of a gel dispenser. What -?
It came up against my ass and I knew I wasn't gonna be asking for technical specifications. It was one of those back massagers, or something. Built in a totally suggestive shape, and probably in some lurid bathroom colour. Some of 'em even had knobs and ridges on, I knew, so that they could stimulate the muscles. You grabbed one end, and massaged the other against the tired muscles. A firm, deep pressure -
I was groaning, even before he pressed it into me. It was cool, despite the heat of the bathroom. It was probably the latex, or smooth wood, whatever it was made of. It was slick, though, so he'd obviously eased its way with the shower gel. It was big, too. Big and firm in a way that Heero's cock was not - it didn't have the joyful, living heat of a real cock. The responsive throb of flowing blood; the soft smoothness of private, protected flesh. But my desperate ass opened for it, and closed around it again, with an obscene gratitude.
Then he angled it, and it pressed on my prostate. I shrieked.
He paused - I think he thought he may have hurt me. But when I didn't complain, he began to slide it in and out of me, wriggling it slightly to get purchase on me inside. His hands came close up to my cheeks; he cupped my balls under me, and rolled them gently in his palm; a perfect accompaniment.
"I like you noisy.." he murmured.
"Harder!" I hissed.
He obeyed - I don't think he minded the demands coming from me when they were what he wanted to do anyway. He impaled me on the damn tool, and he massaged me from the inside out, again and again. His free hand slid away from my balls, and gripped my cock.
"No..." I gasped. It'd all be over far, far too soon, and yet that was what I wanted, wasn't it?
"Oh, but yes..." replied the low, deep voice, and I think he was smiling. He was bent at the waist himself, laid close against my back, and I thought I could feel his cock against my leg - it was stirring. The hairs were ticking my inner thigh. We jerked together a coupla more times, but I couldn't have felt more filled, and my cock couldn't have felt more explosive. I was a lost cause. He stroked my cock, and probed my ass, and the water ran relentlessly over our crouched bodies. Every vestige of control escaped me and I slammed myself back against him, hurling myself back away from the wall. My wet hair tangled round my neck and Heero's arm curved round my chest to hold me upright, and together we watched the cum burst out of me and splatter on to the tiles in front of me.
It took me a long time to dry myself and gather my wits. Muscles ached; my ass was sore. It'd take hours in the morning to get my hair straight again. But I'd rarely felt so deliciously exhausted. I studiously avoided peeking at the massager, which Heero had cleaned and put away in the cabinet again. I had an ominous feeling it'd be fluorescent pink. I dunno - I thought it might either put me off sex for life, or I'd develop an unhealthy devotion to it.
The light was dimmed when I came back into the bedroom. I didn't bother putting my boxers back on. Didn't want to look uncharacteristically coy. I could see Heero in the bed, lying on his side, propped up on a hand. Watching the doorway; waiting for me. There was a sheet over him, but it left very little to the imagination.
"Come to bed, Duo."
I slid in beside him. It was a shock of delight, to feel his fresh, dry skin against mine again. I almost groaned when I felt my cock give a little hiccup of hopeful lust. I didn't think I'd be up to much more tonight.
And - surprisingly - Heero seemed just as relaxed about it. He wanted me - I could feel the life returning to his cock, as it nudged at my stomach under the sheet; but for the moment, all he did was kiss me, and stroke gently at my skin. I began to relax. I was ready for a damn long sleep... I wondered if I was gonna have to cry off work again tomorrow morning. Heero was bad for my employment record...
I tried - but not hard enough. My mind returned to the problems surrounding us.
"'Praps I will go to the cops tomorrow - turn in whatever information I have, whatever names I can remember. We could stop Shad from masterminding any more horrors -"
Heero's fingertips halted for a second, then continued on across my chest. "Duo, it's dangerous, you said so yourself. Shad is looking for his scapegoat - and it's you. You mustn't put yourself at risk. I said I would protect you -"
The phrase jarred on me again. This was extraordinary passion and care from Heero Yuy - the man of Cold Arrogance. I was silent, and he knew it wasn't because I agreed with him.
"I don't want anything to hurt you, Duo. I want you in my bed again. I want you in my bed every night." His voice was low and sensual - it lulled me in the most warmly comfortable way, like hot chocolate on my lips. "Your body... your hair..." His fingers ran through it; it was still damp. He let strands of it fall on to his own chest, and his skin goose bumped underneath the touch. I could feel it against my own.
"I have my own bed," I said. Stubbornly. It sounded childish.
Heero made a sharp noise, as if he tsked. "I don't want to own you, Duo! For God's sake, isn't there a middle ground? I don't know how to say it - I've never said it -"
And I didn't want to hear it - not at that moment.
There was something else attracting my attention.
The sound of the door lock being cracked open was loud and unmistakable. To me, that is, who'd broken into many a deserted building before now. But never an occupied one.
I put a hand to his mouth, asking for his silence. He understood immediately. I listened for a few seconds more, and heard nothing further. But that didn't necessarily bode well.
"Stay here, Heero," I whispered. I slid off the side of the bed, groping for my pants. I didn't want to face Shad - or another heavy - butt naked.
He mouthed, What -?
"Stay here! Call the desk down stairs - no, hold that. Call 911. There's someone in the apartment." I stepped carefully to the door. It was already ajar, from when I'd come to bed.
He lifted the phone, but I knew at once that it would be dead. The line cut, presumably. Certain events clicked into place in my mind. I realised now that there'd been no call from Kai - there wasn't gonna be a call from Kai. The message had been sent, solely to get Heero back to his apartment tonight. Where had Shad been, for the last week - since Heero last saw him? Since Heero refused to support him? And what had he been planning?
When Heero looked up at me, his eyes were hooded. I couldn't tell the darkness in them from the darkness of the apartment. I thought I would ease the door open - try to surprise the guy, whoever he was, in the hallway.
I suppose I was distracted, taking a last look at Heero's body, sitting up in the bed. Muscles tense; hand at the covers, ready to throw them off and get up himself.
Or it may have been the smell that was seeping into my nostrils; a strange, yet hideously familiar aroma that wafted around the doorway. The smell of a sidewalk; of metal, and blood; the smell of hatred and misery and pain...
The door moved before I had a chance to touch it. There was a draught of air; a glint of metal. I moved, but it was like in a slow motion replay.
And then I was tight up against the wall, my hands helpless at my sides, and a ten-inch open blade at my throat.
Staring into the sad, mad eyes of a boy I knew only too well.